Thursday, March 12, 2009

I’ll never understand humans

During our dock diving events, we dogs spend a lot of time in our crates, which to be perfectly honest, can be boring. So to pass the time, I enjoy lying there and watching everyone.

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It’s fun checking out all the people and their dogs walking by. There is always someone with food…always some dog misbehaving…always some dog shaking water all over everyone. What a blast!

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This extended crate time also gives me ample opportunity to think. I’m sure humans wonder just to what extent our cognitive skills take us canines, but we can analyze, evaluate, draw conclusions, predict, etc., and often times, better than humans. Trust me, I’m a master at analyzing my mom’s thoughts and actions to get exactly what I want. Yep, with my canine cognitive skills, I can play her like a fiddle.

But I digress…back on topic. At our last event in Charleston, while sitting in my crate, watching and thinking, my mind turned to a most valuable subject…our potty habits. It was then that I came to realize that I will never, ever completely understand humans, or at least my mom.

Let me explain. At the Charleston event, this was our bathroom.

Yep, that’s right. They expect us dogs to do our business out there in the wide open spaces…right in front of god and everyone. We have to put our little tushies right down there in the pine needles, grass, dirt, leaves, sticks, it doesn’t matter. We have no privacy, no toilet tissue, no doors to close, no seats, no fragrances to help with foul odors. It’s rough.

While sitting in my crate contemplating my next trip to the potty a la alfresco, I see my mom coming back from her own potty trip. She is whining and complaining about “these horrid bathroom facilities,” and how she hates going in “these things.”

What is she talking about? Is she NUTS? Her bathrooms are private, a pretty green color, and they have doors.

If she thinks going in those green boxes is bad, she should try putting her tushie down there on the ground with the pine needles, sticks, and chiggers!

What a wimp!

See you on the dock,

Sally, the Captain of Team 3 Dawg Flite

Proud member of Dixie Dock Dogs

4 comments:

PTdogger said...

sally, no one would ever think that you couldn't outsmart your mom or anyone else. go easy on her with the bathroom stuff. you always crack me up.

Chester's Mom said...

Sally-I know exactly what you mean! If it was me, I would just walk right over and pee on the side of one of those portables. At least your mom doesn't have the camera rolling while you're doin' your business. Check out the latest on my blog-if you dare!

Woofs and embearassed slobbers!
Chester

Martha Basset said...

Hi Sally
We agree - it is shocking the lack of privacy re your toilet facilities. Goodness there wasn't even a bush to go behind.
Your mum has luxury in those porta loo thingies.
What we suggest as that you and all the other dock diving dogs get together and start a petition.
Send it to the organisers and tell them that you are going to refuse to jump off any docks until the situation improves.
While you are at we think you should demand proper leisure facilities. A place to unwind - somewhere to put your paws up. A nice sofa, a TV some DVD's oh and music.
It is such an unfair world and humans have thing very easy these days.
Time to take action - well can they dock dive without you?
Girl Power!!
love
Martha & Bailey xx

Mason Dixie said...

that is a great point, but then again they pick up our poo (weird) and as long as they go in that box I do not have to pick up their poo. =)